Fanboy got Dragon Ball, 
Made sure to watch it all, 
One garage kit a day, 
Got high on model spray, 
Mech posters on his door, 
Couldn't even see the floor, 
Never went to Japan, 
What happened to his plan? 

He was gonna be an idol, 
He was gonna be a star, 
Gonna get a replica, 
Of Nekki Basara's guitar, 
His desk job 8 to 3, 
Is now the enemy, 
No more D&D nights, 
And nothin', has been, all right

Since Akira, Gokudo, 
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne, 
And Sailor Moon on USA, 
The newbies in high school, 
They tell us that we're uncool, 
'Cause we've had our Asian fix, 
Since 19, 19, 1996

We've seen all the classics, 
Every line we know, 
Kenshin, the Slayers, too, 
Even Nadesico, 
We sang Sana's rap, 
Knew all the guys in SMAP, 
Thought we'd get a hand, 
On a member of Priss's band

Where're the bikinis made of tiger? 
And who's that Tenchi clone out screaming bloody murder? 
When did that OAV become TV? 
Whatever happened to
Tape trades, cel shades, 
In the decades since

Akira, Gokudo, 
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne, 
And Sailor Moon on USA, 
The newbies in high school, 
They tell us that we're uncool, 
'Cause we've had our Asian fix, 
Since 19, 19, 1996

We hate cuts, make them stop
When did wine and beer become tea and pop? 
And when did pirates start using toy guns? 
Glad 4Kids was dropped, dropped, dropped! 

Now show Akira, Gokudo, 
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne, 
And Sailor Moon on USA, 
The newbies in high school, 
They tell us that we're uncool, 
'Cause we've had our Asian fix, 
Since 1996

Akira, Gokudo, 
Way before Naruto
There was Van's Escaflowne, 
And Sailor Moon on USA, 
The newbies in high school, 
They tell us that we're uncool, 
'Cause we've had our Asian fix, 
Since 19, 19, 1996

On this long road trip we’ve gone,
Headed down to DragonCon,
Fucking hell, we had to drive six hundred miles

Six hundred miles, six hundred miles
Six hundred miles, six hundred miles
Fucking hell, we had to drive six hundred miles

High-priced hotels, huge dealer halls
Four summer days, it’s hot as balls,
Not cheap to be six hundred miles away from home

Away from home, away from home,
Away from home, away from home
Not cheap to be six hundred miles away from home

[Instrumental]

Cosplay sweat-stuck to our backs
Pail of rum punch to relax,
Shit, we can’t get to the hotel through the parade

Through the parade, through the parade,
Through the parade, through the parade,
Shit, we can’t get to the hotel through the parade

On this long road trip we’ve gone,
Forth and back from DragonCon,
Holy fuck, we have to drive twelve hundred miles

Twelve hundred miles, twelve hundred miles
Twelve hundred miles, twelve hundred miles
Holy fuck, we have to drive twelve hundred miles
Fucking hell, we have to drive twelve hundred miles
...But you assholes are worth all...twelve hundred miles…

I asked my mom how I could be the best I am
She said "If you do just one thing, you surely won't be damned"
Well, then I asked "what is it?" And she answered so demure:
"Just keep your knees together, love, and always you'll be pure."

We were taught to keep an aspirin twixt our knees
To keep us out of trouble so our mothers would be pleased
But then I learned a secret, a trick that I will share
My fingers they still fit between, no need for an affair

When she said "be pure," I asked her what she meant
Did she mean pure of heart, or mind, or always pay your rent?
But “No,” she said, “none of that matters in the slight
Keep penises away from you, and then you'll be all right”

We were taught to keep an aspirin twixt our knees
To keep us out of trouble so our mothers would be pleased
But then I learned a secret, a trick that I will share
My mouth and tongue they still could pleasure all the ladies fair

And though I had some friends abstaining happily
So many of us sat around, confused as we could be
A cock is such a tiny thing to have so much control
Over our worth as people and our demarcated role

We were taught to keep an aspirin twixt our knees
To keep us out of trouble so our mothers would be pleased
But then I learned a secret, a trick that I will share
I never had an interest in "activities" down there

So those of us who wanted more decided to uprise
Deciding for ourselves exactly what went 'tween our thighs
We are the revolution, a movement going strong
Of folks who are defined by more than someone's else dong

We were taught to keep an aspirin twixt our knees
To keep us out of trouble so our mothers would be pleased
But then I learned a secret, a trick that I will share
They still can bend me over and then claim my derriere

Abstaining is an option, but it's not the only one
If you play with someone else's bits your worth is not undone
If anybody tells you you're a slut or you're a whore
Say "YES, I AM!" quite proudly and then show that fuck the door!

Let's get busy in the library
I wanna do it by the books
But if I can't be quiet, we'll get nasty looks
My bits are Dewey and by now my pleasure's feeling overdue
Let's do it in the library
Let's do it in the library

Let's get busy in the library
And then my pleasure will renew
There's so much friction and non-friction to pursue
Oh put a hold on me, I promise I will not be so reserved
Let's do it in the library
Let's do it in the library

Let's get busy in the library
Where we can hide among the stacks
Don't leave me hanging in suspense at the climax
Let's make the graphic novel section much more graphic than it's been
Let's do it in the library
Let's do it in the library

Let's get busy in the library
My lust is hitting Overdrive
Shelf three-oh-six-point-seven's where I feel alive
For some extra kink I'll maybe even do you dog-ear style
Let's do it in the library
Let’s do it in the library

I've wanted you in the library
Since I first checked you out
My love life had been in a catastrophic drought
But since I found you, erotica genre, I want to read you all the time,
And...
I wanna do it in the library
I wanna do it in the library

Lying in my bedroom, wide awake
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Trying hard to sleep, but I can’t catch a break
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
These worries could all be real or fake
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But I’ll never sort them out before I wake!
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

Chorus:
Bunnies in my brain, both night and morning,
Filling me with anxiety,
Nomming on neurons like sweet romaine
And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!
Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain!

I try medication and meditation too
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Cuz managing this is what I gotta do
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Some days are tough for me to get through
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But that got a little better when I met you
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

[Chorus]

When I met you, there was a twist
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
You’re so much more than just a tryst
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Those bunnies in my brain, they must be pissed
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
They're quieter now, and they ain’t missed
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

[Chorus]

You ease my brain sometimes for sure
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
You make me feel nice and secure
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But I'm not saying that you're the cure
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
Cuz that belief is immature
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

[Chorus]

Bunnies in my brain will always stay
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
I was built like this, to my dismay
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
But I'll always fight, day after day
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!
While you make my heart race in a better way
Hey ho, bunnies in my brain!

Final chorus:
Bunnies in my brain, both night and morning,
Filling me with anxiety,
Nomming on neurons like sweet romaine
And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!
Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hi, ho, bunnies in my brain!
Hey, ho, bunnies in my brain!
And I can’t stop the worries; I’ve got bunnies in my brain!

If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, get consent
If you want to take a picture, they're a person, not a fixture, 
If you want to take a picture, get consent

If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent
If you want to touch their cosplay, and don't want to cause them dismay, 
If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent

If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, get consent
If you want a big embrace, there's a way to close the space, 
If you want a big embrace, get consent

And if they still say no, back away
If they still say no, that's ok
If they decline your advance, it's their body, not your chance
If they still say no, just GO AWAY

Well a working lass am I, and I am telling you no lie,
I work and sleep among the docks, where the laddies come to buy.
There's dirt and dust around me, and the sea spray fills the air,
There's a lousy smell that smacks of hell, and white stuff in me hair.

Chorus:
And it's blow, girls, blow,
No time to take a break
And every day you're in this place the more you start to ache
But you blow

Well I've slept with saints and sinners and most every type of bloke
The tall, the small, "Not there at all," and some who made me choke.
Spend all my time down on me knees till my thighs start to burn,
I like it rough, I've done enough to make your stomachs turn!

[Chorus]

Well, there's overtime and bonus opportunities galore
The young men have their money and they all come back for more
But soon you're knocking on and you're tired and you're sore
For every bob you give a job, there's five knocking on your door

[Chorus]

Well a working lass am I and I'm telling you no lie,
I work and sleep among the docks, where the laddies come to buy.
There's dirt and dust around me, and the sea spray fills the air,
There's a lousy smell that smacks of hell, and white stuff in me hair.

[Chorus x2]

Well my father thinks you're nifty,
And you’ve heard of Bodelaire,
And we both agree that human rights abuses are unfair
You understand your feelings
And you're not afraid to share,
And I think I could do something with your hair...

You smell nice,
And you're groovy,
And we both like nerdy movies...
My mother says you have that touch of class.
I can see a shining future where we'll dialogue and nurture,
But there's just one thing I feel I need to ask....

Do you take it up the ass?
Do you take it up the ass?
When it comes to brains, you've got 'em
But unless you play the bottom,
I don’t think you and me are gonna last

Do you take it up the ass?
Do you take it up the ass?
I’m not really one for begging
So unless you’re into pegging
Afraid I'm gonna have to take a pass

'Cause you're adorable, reliable,
But is your anus pliable?
That's the information that we need.

Would you do it if you loved me?
If you're nervous, squat above me
You'll be able to control the depth and speeeeeeed.....

Do you take it up the ass?
Do you take it up the ass?
Ooooooooh....
Do you take it up the ass.......?

Chorus:
Drinks don’t have a fucking gender
Oh, you know, that’s right
Both cosmos and straight whiskey
They can keep us warm at night
Just cuz a drink is pink it doesn’t
Say a thing about you
Cuz drinks don’t have a fucking gender, it’s true

Don’t tell me I can’t drink that shot
Because it’s just too bold
My gender isn’t governed by
The drink I choose to hold
Aged Scotch or a fine bourbon, neat
They taste real good to me
And drinks don’t have a fucking gender, you see.

[Chorus]

I’m something of a sugar fiend
It’s not a felony
With cocktails full of grenadine
Blood of my enemies!
They taste great and they’re strong as hell
What makes that immature?
Cuz drinks don’t have a fucking gender, for sure.

[Chorus]

Just cuz I like tequila
It don’t mean I overdo
I savor the expensive stuff
And stop before I spew
I’m not a lush, I’m not a mess
I drink it nice and slow
And drinks don’t have a fucking gender, you know.

[Chorus]

Well, I like wine, it’s yummy
It’s the way that I unwind
I might just have another glass
If you would be so kind
I’m not a snob about it
But just let me reinforce
That drinks don’t have a fucking gender, of course

We all like drinking different things
That’s totally okay
Drinks are not identity
Whatever others say
But all that said, please don’t drink crap
Cuz life is just too short
For Bud Lite
Or Arbor Mist
Or Everclear
Or FourLoko!
Or $1 Long Island Iced Teas (shudder)

Be good to you, you’re worth it
Drink good booze that likes you too
And drinks don’t have a fucking gender, it’s true

Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs,
Try to lick all of the vendor wares
Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait,
Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate

Chorus:
Dumb ways to con,
So many dumb ways to con,
Dumb ways to co-o-on,
So many dumb ways to con

Keep a Tribble as a pet,
Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat,
Enter the Pokemon tourny with all bidoof,
Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof

[Chorus]

Challenge a Wookiee to a fight,
Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight
Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword
Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde

[Chorus]

Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot,
Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute,
Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint
Hug somebody while in unsealed body paint

[Chorus]

Agree to a group skit without committing…
Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting...

Go all weekend without taking a shower,
Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room
Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important,
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

The dumbest ways to con,
The dumbest ways to con,
Dumb ways to con-o-oooooonnn…
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to con….

I think you’re really cute and nice and funny
We’ve got a lot in common and that’s just cool
We’re not real close, we’re far from besties
But if I didn’t tell you this I’d be a fool

[Chorus]
I wanna make out with you at cons
Don’t wanna be your girlfriend, don’t wanna date
Just wanna make out with you when it’s convenient
When we’re cosplaying

You look so good when you’re all dressed up
You’re giving me needs that I just can’t shake
I like it when you’re in character
So I’ve got a little proposition to make

[Chorus]

You don’t live close enough for us to date
And I’ve got too many things on my plate
But still you’re really cute, did I mention that?
We’ve got a good rapport and I’d like to state...

[Chorus]

I’d almost worked up the courage to ask you
And then my heart just broke
Because your Facebook status changed
To “In a Relationship”
And I don’t think you’re polyamorous like I am

So after some thorough soul-searching
And after some tears
And more than a few margaritas
And a couple of tequila shots
And many, many episodes of “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix…
Even season 7 with Logan, I mean, what was that about?

Anyway…
I came to the conclusion there’s only one thing I can do. 
Find somebody else. 
...How YOU doin’?

[Chorus x2]
 

They say I’m a Man-Hater,
Away, boys, away!
That I think like a dictator
So it’s Mansplain Man

Chorus:
Mansplain Man,
Oh Mansplain Man.
They think that they know better
And it’s Mansplain Man.

Feminazi’s what they call me
Away, boys, away!
That my goals are not equality
So it’s Mansplain Man

They call me Nasty Woman,
Away, boys, away!
Say I’m barely even Human
So it’s Mansplain Man

[Chorus]

"Fake Geek Girls," they do mention
Away, boys, away!
Say it’s all a cry for attention
So it’s Mansplain Man

They say I’m a host for their baby
Away, boys, away!
I should just close my legs maybe
So it’s Mansplain Man

[Chorus]

They say I’m a special snowflake
Away, boys, away!
But I make them shiver and shake
So it’s Mansplain Man

I’m a Social Justice Warrior
Away, boys, away!
And the battle’s getting Gorier
So it’s Mansplain Man

[Chorus]

Explain that I should quit
Away, boys, away!
And I’ll tell you where to shove it
So it’s Mansplain Man

Mansplain man,
Oh Mansplain man.
She’s got a doctorate in this topic,
And it’s Man-splain man

Mansplain man,
Oh Mansplain man.
I LITERALLY just said that,
And it’s Mansplain man

Mansplain man,
Oh Mansplain man.
I WRITE THE GODDAMN BLOG YOU REFERENCED
And it's Mansplain man…

Mansplain man,
Oh Man-splain man.
This is why you never read the comments
Cuz it’s Mansplain man

Chorus:
Mermaids and Sirens sing songs from the deep
To dash men on rocks, or to put them to sleep
What do they do with all the rest? The straight gals and the queers?
Do Sirens change their music when it falls on deaf ears?

Straight gals and gay guys aren't into topless broads
They barely even notice them swimming in their pods
Mermaids call for backup when it doesn't go to plan
Those lads and lasses can't deny a rugged Aquaman!

[Chorus]

Aces and Greys hardly give mermaids a thought
They hear the siren's tempting song and just say "Could you not?"
But those fishymaids have found a way! No one can catch a break!
They know not even Aces can resist delicious cake!

[Chorus]

Demisexuals all like to think they're in the clear
They listen to the Sirens’ song without a spot of fear
They make pals with the Mermaids that follow them around
Their friendship blossoms into more, and oops they all are drowned!

[Chorus]

Mermaids and Sirens are just like you and me
They're all over the spectrum of sexuality
There's only one little thing that’s certainly assumed
Lesbians, Pansexuals and Bis are always doomed!

Mermaids and Sirens sing songs from the deep
To dash folx on rocks, or to put them to sleep
It doesn't matter who you are, or how you play the game
They'll eat all of the Rainbow, 'cuz our meat all tastes the same!
Yes, they they'll eat all of the Rainbow, 'cuz our meat all tastes the same!

We just finished fucking each other,
It was pretty good, not great,
We matched on a phone application,
You said you weren't looking to date
Now we’re lying naked, in the bed,
And our silence fills the air,
You turn your head towards me
As you reach to touch my hair…

“I can’t wait for my partner to meet you,”
You casually say with a grin,
My mouth drops open, my eyes open wide,
Don’t even know where to begin
You haven’t told me about them before now,
Or bothered to give them a mention,
Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time
To give it your fucking attention!

We’ve gone on a couple of dates before now,
And somehow the moment is right,
I go back with you to your bedroom,
And we screw all through the night,
I wake up refreshed the next morning,
“Oh good, you’re up!” you croon,
I brace myself, and hold my breath,
Don’t want to judge too soon…

“Do you think you could back my Kickstarter?
Just 3,000 dollars to go!”
I can’t palm my face any harder,
This is shit you should already know!
You haven’t told me about it before now,
Or bothered to give it a mention,
Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time
To give it your fucking attention!

When you invited me to your orgy,
I figured “Okay, what the hell?”
The group was all super attractive,
And I’d had a bit of a dry spell,
I should have suspected that something was off,
Or at least all was not as should be,
After several embraces, I found several faces
All peering down at me

“I hope that you’re not too allergic,
That’s the pillow where my cat sleeps.”
“Let me now tell you all about Jesus,
You must know that he loves you heaps!”
“Lay back and try to get comfortable now,
I’m sensing some hesitation…
But you’ll want to get the best angle
For my Powerpoint presentatioooooon~!”

So if you’re taking somebody home,
Or to your hotel bed,
Consider your thoughts oh-so-carefully,
And beware of what is said,
Do not break some new information
While you’re basking in the glow,
Don’t criticize, or proselytize,
Or tell them about your shoooow~!

We’re not saying ‘withhold information’,
Just tell them before you both screw,
There’s too many chemicals after sex,
To agree with or say no to you,
If you haven’t told them about it before now,
As we may have already mentioned,
Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time
To give it your fucking attention!
No, Pillowtalk’s not the appropriate time
To give it your fucking attention!

This song's about a ship, they say
I see it in a different way
When certain lads come out to play
It's how the girls describe their lay

Chorus:
Pump her boys, you're pumping her dry
Down to hell and up to the sky
Bend your backs and break your bones
You're just a thousand miles from home

"I'm great at oral," is the boast
"I always give it my utmost."
"Prove it," is my quick riposte
It lasts a minute, at the most

[Chorus]

As soon as stiffness starts to show
They whip it out, all rarin' to go
Can't tell them pleasure builds up slow
They start before the juices flow

[Chorus]

Some lads, they like a tighter fit
They think it should feel like their mitt
They thrust it back and forth a bit
(If only they could find my clit!)

[Chorus]

Some lads, they think they shake the walls
Poundin' in our sacred halls
They never know how our skin crawls
Grinding 'gainst sandpapery balls

[Chorus]

What seems to be a major score
Can oftentimes become a chore
The next day they become a bore
And can't be hustled out of doors

[Chorus]

With wise words, best to end it strong
And like all things, don't go too long
Beware the chorus of this song:
If they're pumpin' you dry,
they're doing it wrong!

Pump her boys, you're pumping her dry
Down to hell and up to the sky
Bend your backs and break your bones
You're STILL a thousand miles from home

Pump her boys, you're pumping her dry
Down to hell and up to the sky
Bend your backs and break your bones
You're STILL a thousand miles from home

Slytherins are evil
That's what other houses say!
But as a Slytherin
I aim to change your view today
Slytherins aren't terrible
We're just misunderstood
Just because we’re a little power-obsessed
Doesn't mean we can't be good

Chorus:
Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin
They all think you’re bad
But a Slytherin will be the
Bestest friend you've ever had!

Slytherins can be so kind
They take care of their friends
They'll find for you a meal
Cuz you “forgot lunch again”!
They really are the sweetest
It just doesn't always show
But don't ask them where they got that sandwich
You don't want to know!

[Chorus]

Slytherins watch out for you
They'll make sure you're ok!
They'll tell your ex to f**k right off
And make them go away!
They'll respect your choices
When you want to win or quit
And most of the time will manipulate you
only a little bit!

[Chorus]

A Slytherin will open up
If they think you’ll listen
You know they care about you
If they don’t just hold it in
Expressing their emotions
Is not their strongest trait
Unless, of course, you count the feelings
Sad, mad, fear, and hate.

[Chorus]

I hope I've helped you all to see
That Slytherins are fine!
You don't have to reject us
You just have to have a spine!
Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing
Where some boundaries lay
That's why we all need our Hufflepuffs
To keep us all at bay!

[Chorus X2]

Maybe you think you’re clever
Or maybe you think it’s cute
But we are just perfect strangers
So you come off like a brute

And I’m just trying to get to work now
So, excuse me if I’m not contrite
But I’ve never met you before, sir
and you don't know it but you're starting a fight

Chorus:
Please don’t ask me to smile
Please don’t tell me to cheer up
Cuz this is my face and it isn’t your place to tell me how
I should use it
No don’t ask me to smile
Because it isn’t kind, it’s creepy
I just wanna be me
Angry, sad or carefree and
I'm fine with me
So I don’t see a need to excuse it

I’ve got a pretty cancerous puppy
And my mom and my dad just died
I’m sorry if I don’t seem happy
But I’ll try to look on the bright side

But I lost all my things in that house fire
And I haven’t pooped in a week
I think my boyfriend’s dating the mailman
So my tolerance is reaching its peak

[Chorus]

Bridge:
I don’t care if I’m pretty
I don’t care if I’m cute
I’m not looking to flirt
I’m no sweetheart to you
You may be funny
And you may be sweet
But right now you kinda sound like a creep

[Chorus]

My cat was abducted by aliens
And my car is infested with bees
I’ll try to remember the good times
Like when I got that kidney disease

And I’m apparently allergic to coffee
And my sister just got killed by bear
I’m sorry if I seem so distracted
But I just found out I’m losing my hair

[Chorus]

It was Wednesday morn when we engaged
Boldly going places man has never known
When up on the Bridge, we spied a Romulan ship
Far away from the Neutral Zone

Chorus:
And the planets they do roll, And the distant stars they glow
And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship
While civilians they lie down below (below, below)
While civilians they lie down below

Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise
And he was a handsome bearded man
He straddled a chair with his very long legs
And said, "Captain do we have a plan?"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the Captain of the Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he
"I don't want to tangle with the Romulans,
I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise
She was a strong willed woman in blue
She said, "Captain come on, you have to run this ship
All the crew is depending on you!"

[Chorus]

Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise
And a curious android was he
"Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship
Has decided to break the treaty?"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise
And a nerdy little genius was he
He said, "I think that we should..."
"Shut up Wesley!!"

[Chorus]

Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise
And his visor was really high-tech
"I hope that this conflict doesn't take that long
I’ve a date waiting on the holodeck."

[Chorus]

Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise
And a very pretty empath was she
"There's a Romulan vessel outside of this ship
And I sense the Romulans are angry"

[Chorus]

Up spoke Security on the Enterprise
And a very moody Klingon was he
He said--
"Klingons do not sing space shanties."

[Chorus X2]

Oh you hear a lot of stories 'bout the sailors and their sport
About how every sailor has a girl in every port
But if you added two and two, you'd figure out right quick
It's just because the girls all have a lad on every ship

[Chorus] 
And it's twiddle ee ai dee ai dee ai
Twiddle ee ai dee ei
It's often times a man will leave you broken with dismay
And it's twiddle ee ai dee ai dee ai
Twiddle ee ai dee ei
There's other things to twiddle when the men have sailed away

Lucky Annie was a lady who'd been pleased by many men
They all would sail away but then they'd come right back again
But if they never sailed her way she really didn't care
Cause I know that you don't need a man to twiddle under there

[Chorus] 

Saber had her lovers, they came in at every door
You could even say that she was really quite a whore
But when she needs some pleasing, she knows just where to go
I grab my good friend Madam Rouge and we go down below"

[Chorus] 

There was a time when Rouge she found the sailor men a bore
Each new one was more tiresome than the one she had before
Now she finds more joy in breeches than she ever did of old
I'm more fond of their bulges when they're pouches full of gold

[Chorus] 

Why the boys would look at her, it puzzled poor Flint Locke
She would sit and smile and nod and let them brag and talk
But if they tried to touch her well she'd put them on the run
Cause why would I need a lover when I've got myself a gun

[Chorus] 

So next time you're with a lady and she takes you to her bed
Be sure to please her well, and remember what we've said
For if you do not treat her right, then know that this is true
Us ladies all can have our fun without involving you! 

[Chorus x 2]